5 Reasons You Would Hate INFJs For
INFJ may be one of the rarest personalities, but I’m pretty sure you know, or at least knew, one of the so-called Advocates. Your once-upon-a-time with them probably had a not-so-happy ending. And as an INFJ myself, I know at least five (5) reasons why.
16personalities.com describes INFJs (Advocates) as those with Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging personality traits who tend to approach life with deep thoughtfulness and imagination. Their inner vision, personal values, and a quiet, principled version of humanism guide them in all things.
And that’s got you thinking, “what’s there to hate,” right? Well for starters, INFJs are perfectionists when they aren’t even close to being perfect themselves. Want to know something else?
1. INFJs are super reserved.
They seem strange and mysterious — like you know them all your life but still know nothing about them.
The why: They really just value privacy so much and are very selective as to what and who they open up to because they wouldn’t want to be a burden to anyone nor expose themselves too much.
One must approach INFJs with patience and respect for their need for privacy. Building trust and engaging in deep, meaningful conversations can help unravel some of the mystery surrounding them. However, not everything about them may be fully known or understood as their complex and multifaceted nature can sometimes defy easy explanation. While this may create a sense of mystery, be extra patient with them and allow them to share their thoughts and feelings at their own pace.
2. INFJs and their trust issues.
They ask a lot of questions as if they are always questioning your integrity.
The why: They have this superpower called “BS detector” — so if you are minding the questioning, then you’re most definitely in trouble. They can smell through the strong floral scent of someone’s “real” intentions — and oftentimes they will let you think that they have no idea.
INFJs are known for their strong intuition and perceptiveness when it comes to understanding others. They often have a remarkable ability to read between the lines, discern hidden motives, and pick up on subtle cues that others may miss. This intuition can give them a sense of perceiving someone’s true intentions or underlying motives, even when they are not explicitly expressed. A piece of [unsolicited] advice — consistency is required, and honesty is key.
3. INFJs appear mean and intimidating.
The “stare” will feel uncomfortable and can be seen as rude when they start to observe your every move and analyze your every word as if they are scanning through your soul.
The why: It’s more like a reflex, really, nothing personal.
This thorough analysis stems from INFJ’s genuine interest in understanding others and creating meaningful connections. They seek to grasp the full scope of someone’s message, including the unspoken or implicit aspects. This attentiveness allows them to establish a sense of empathy and forge deeper connections with those they interact with — it is not meant to be intrusive or manipulative. INFJs have a genuine desire to understand and connect with others on a deeper level.
4. INFJs love making plans then back out at the last minute.
They will hype you to the bone about something really exciting like leisure and travel and they just aren’t feeling well all of a sudden when it’s time to go.
The why: Most likely a cup of mood swing with a teaspoonful of exhaustion that calls for some alone time to recharge. Sometimes, though, they just realize they’ve gotten themselves into something they actually don’t want to do and just thinking about it drains their energy, so they flake out. Again, nothing personal.
INFJs are known for their high level of conscientiousness and desire to please others. They may sometimes agree to plans out of a genuine intention to connect and support others, but then realize later that they may have overcommitted themselves or need to prioritize their own well-being. In such cases, they may find it challenging to follow through on plans, leading to last-minute cancellations.
5. INFJs have high [almost impossible] standards.
They tend to fixate on imperfections and that just exhausts the shit out of them. And they are well aware of that, it’s just that they believe there are always a million better ways to do things, better job, better situations, better ideas, better everything!
The why: Simply put, they are idealistic.
INFJs genuinely believe in the potential of individuals and the world, and they often set high standards as a way to encourage growth and personal development. They possess a keen ability to see the potential in people and situations, and they often have a clear vision of how things could be improved. However, they may find themselves disappointed or frustrated when reality falls short of their ideals.
Still hate INFJs? I think not.
When we encounter toxic traits in others, it can be difficult to make sense of them without understanding the whys. Understanding the reasons allows us to move beyond surface-level judgment and instead we develop a more compassionate perspective.
Regardless of personality type, I think we all have some sort of toxic traits — I know I do, but a little compassion can go a long way. Nobody is perfect, and we are all on a journey of self-discovery and self-improvement. So let’s all foster an atmosphere where people feel safe to explore their shortcomings, learn from their mistakes, and actively work towards personal transformation.
Cheers,
